The test day came and I went for bloods at 6am before work. It was the most important blood test I would ever have! My husband and I met up at lunch to find out the result. We must have called the clinic 10 times but they didn't have it available. We really wanted to find out together but it just wasn't possible.
I called again a bit later in the afternoon and I remember being sat on my own in a big conference room and my stomach was doing absolute somersaults. I had never been so nervous about anything in my whole life. Thinking about it now I am getting a similar reaction!
The nurse gave me the news that it was a positive test and I just absolutely bawled my eyes out. It was the best news I had ever had and I literally could not contain myself. Every single second of the previous six years I had wished for this moment and I cannot explain the feeling it gave me. The nurse thought my reaction was lovely and I thanked her a hundred times. I then tried to calm myself enough to listen to my beta number and the next steps. When we hung up I sat in that room and I just hugged myself and cried and cried and cried.
I called my husband and he was so incredibly happy too. We couldn't celebrate too much until we were together but I am pretty sure neither of us even knew what day it was for the rest of the afternoon... we were off floating on cloud nine! It was indescribable when we saw each other that night, everything we had ever wanted and thought we could not have was right there and it was just incredible.
We couldn't be too complacent though as you need another test to confirm the pregnancy, as the level needs to double over the next two days to be sure. I had this test and again nerves flew around my body but when I got the call to say my levels had increased even better than they expected it was amazing. I was officially pregnant and officially the happiest person in the world!!
***I just want to say that our journey seems pretty simple compared to many and it was. However, it would have been very different if we had gone to a different clinic. They would have pushed IUIs on us that would never have worked and we would have spent thousands more and waiting goodness knows how much longer. Please get the specialist to explain the reasoning for your treatment and do some research before you go ahead with their advice. We think they are planning the best for us and often they are but if things don’t seem right get a second opinion and it could save you a lot of heartache, time and money. ***
Our one little embryo that they didn't consider strong enough to make it fought all the way to be our child and I am 100% sure that she was meant to be. I see the tenacity she has now she is here and I can totally understand why she made it, she is incredible. She is worth all the time, tears, pain, money, bruises, weight gain (IVF made me put on a stone before I even got pregnant!) and I know how truly blessed I am to have her.
IVF is such a difficult and all consuming process. People go through so much more pain and difficulties than we endured and I really do not know how they get up every time. I know that the longing for a child is stronger than anything else I have ever experienced, only now surpassed by my love for her. This hope and love for a child you haven't met yet is the only thing that gets you through.
If you know anyone who needs, is currently going through or has been through IVF you should have real respect for them because these are people that endure so much pain and go through absolutely anything it takes to have their wish. Show them your support but don't pretend to understand, because you couldn't if you haven't been through it yourself.
I really hope that anyone reading this that is still waiting for their miracle gets their wish because I can assure you that it really is worth everything. You are an incredible person for going through this process and I can only wish you the best for your journey ahead. Sending lots of baby dust and sticky embryos your way! Lots of love ladies (and gents of course) xxx